The Downtime Crash

[00:00:01] Hey, friends. It's been a while since I've sat down to record an episode, which is ironic because I just had an entire month off work. You would think that with all that time, I would have recorded more, created more, built more. But instead, I rested, I slept, I felt exhausted in a way that I did not expect. And today I want to talk about that because I think a lot of us don't realize something. [00:00:26] Sometimes you don't feel how tired you are until you finally slow down. [00:00:31] For so long, I've lived in a go mode. Running businesses, being a wife, being a mom, managing chronic illness, creating content, showing up for everyone. [00:00:41] And when you live like that, you don't really stop to check in with your body. You function, you push, you override. You tell yourself, I'm fine. And the truth is, you might actually feel fine because adrenaline is so, so powerful when you're needed, when things have to get done, when people are counting on you, your body rises to the occasion. But adrenaline is not rest. It's survival. [00:01:08] So when work paused, when my schedule opened up, when the pressure lifted, I expected to feel inspired. Like you guys. I wanted to get so much done, and I have completely dropped the ball. I have not recorded anything. [00:01:24] And so instead of feeling inspired, I felt heavy. It's like my body just finally said, okay, we're safe now. We can stop holding it all together. And the exhaustion hit. [00:01:39] Not like lazy exhaustion, not like, I stayed up to late exhaustion. But guys, I'm talking bone deep nervous system level exhaustion. [00:01:50] It's the kind where your body feels like it's been carrying something for a very long time. And I started realizing something important. [00:01:58] Exhaustion doesn't always show up when you're busy. It actually doesn't seem to show up when you're busy. Not in this kind of way. But it waits until you feel safe enough to feel it. [00:02:11] And here's the part that we don't talk about enough. The guilt. I had time. [00:02:16] And instead of producing something incredible, I rested. Instead of building, I processed. Instead of striving, I slowed down. [00:02:26] And there was a small voice that whispered, you should be doing more. [00:02:31] But what if rest is the work? What if the crash is not failure? What if it's healing? [00:02:39] I started thinking about how often we live in constant motion. Especially as women, especially as entrepreneurs. Especially if you have chronic illness and you're used to pushing through flares and functioning at a baseline that isn't easy. You get so good at being strong that you actually forget how tired strong actually is. [00:03:00] Like, I find Myself pushing through pain that when I message my doctor just thinking they'll give me a simple solution or like a simple recommendation, they're like, hey, you probably should go to the error. Like, those kind of things that we push through as people with chronic illness. [00:03:22] It's like, when do we. When do we stop? [00:03:26] And when life finally gives you space, it's like your body just exhales. And sometimes that exhale looks like exhaustion. Maybe my month off wasn't meant to be productive. Maybe it was meant to reveal how much I've been carrying. Maybe it was my body saying, I need you to listen now. [00:03:46] Last year was an extremely rough year, business wise. [00:03:52] Emotionally, it just was exhausting. So I think that month off, my body just shut down. It was just like, no, we're not doing this. Which is so frustrating because like I said, I had a whole entire month where I could be creating this amazing content and really connecting. I. I had interviews scheduled for my podcast. Like, I was scheduled to be on other people's podcast. And I really feel like I let myself down. And that is so frustrating. But instead of feeling mad at myself, I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to learn from it. I'm trying to maybe figure out why it is that my body and my mind reacted the way that it did, because I know that I'm not alone. I know other people go through this as well. [00:04:40] So if you've ever gone on vacation and gotten sick or like, if you've ever slowed down and suddenly you felt worse, if you've ever had a free moment and instead of feeling motivated, you felt drained, you're definitely not broken. Your nervous system might just finally feel safe. It's so interesting to me the way that the nervous system and the body works. Like, once we finally feel safe, we. [00:05:08] It's almost like we collapse. Like, we're. [00:05:11] We're able to say, okay, I don't have to be strong anymore, so I'm not. I'm gonna literally shut down and do nothing. [00:05:18] And exhaustion might not be weakness. It might be the body's way of saying, thank you for letting me rest. Like, I think our bodies are so thankful when we finally will just shut down and do nothing and let ourselves heal. [00:05:34] So maybe the reason you're so tired when you stop is because you have been strong for way too long. [00:05:41] And maybe this season isn't about doing more, but maybe it's about honoring what your body has been trying to tell you all along. [00:05:49] I am learning that slowing down doesn't mean I'm falling behind and this is something that is so hard for me to learn because I have been strong my entire life. I'm the hard worker. I'm the person that goes to work and pushes through. [00:06:05] So when I have a day when I'm like y', all, I really cannot do it. I cannot physically push through. I feel like such a failure. [00:06:16] But sometimes I think it means I'm finally healing. [00:06:20] Thank you for being here and if this resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need permission to rest soon. [00:06:30] Please just take the time to care for yourself. [00:06:33] People with chronic illness, even people who don't have chronic illness but just live in a state of fight or flight mode. Our bodies are crying out for rest you guys, and we need to listen. [00:06:45] So thank you so much for being here. Until next time, please keep glowing in the chaos and I will talk to you soon.